What to do when when a wife forges ahead…Reply to comments part 2

This post is a response to the following comments

She is well within her rights to ask for a divorce now, as she is now higher up, and you have the inferiority complex.
In case of that, step aside as a graceful man from her life and let her marry a man of her status.
Do not stand in the way of a modern woman.

Those of us who are married are all well within our rights to ask for a divorce whether we are better than our spouses in any way or not. So unless this woman was in a toxic relationship before the promotion and looking/ waiting for some way or opportunity to get out of it, I don’t see the need for a divorce in this case.

Also I don’t think that the man has an inferiority complex, a little insecurity, yes, but inferiority, no.  With most of us having been indoctrinated from a very young age about specific gender roles and duties that women and men have, I think its only natural for someone to feel conflicted and confused when faced with a situation like this. Remember he did not say that he has asked his wife to refuse the offer, he said that she did not tell him her decision to accept or refuse, which shows that she is free to make her own decisions. But its nice that he is attempting to find a way to work through this, which is a good start.

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  1. Niranchana

     /  January 30, 2012

    A girl is in a relationship, her husband has been good to her. But she has started to feel she has grown apart and wants a divorce although her husband loves her- you support this?

    Let’s say a married woman starts to like another man and she wants to legally end the current marriage with a divorce, although her husband loves her – in a marriage, it has become one sided love from husband – And she wants a divorce.

    The husband does not like his wife visiting a male gynaecologist – what will you say?

    A husband is not fine with his wife going out with her male friend often, and he certainly does not like it when she spends nights in his home watching movies – don’t you think he is well within his rights?

    A husband sees his wife walking hand in hand with a male friend of hers in a park and his wife does not like him bringing the topic up- what would you expect him to do, as a feminist?

  2. It seems a woman asking for a divorce is seen as someone who thinks she is too good for him. It’s possible that she likes somebody else, or they are not compatible, it does not indicate a rejection or a feeling of superiority.

    • Totally agree, most men are surprised even shocked that women would even think to leave them, if they weren’t doing the dumping. And why would the issue of compatibility arise at all, when the woman is required to change herself to what the guy wants.

    • Niranchana

       /  February 18, 2012

      IHM, if she is liking someone else after marriage, that’s adultery. full stop.


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